'I was in shock': Girlfriend walks in on her boyfriend scooping cat litter with the spoon holder she'd been using for cooking for months, gets mad at him, he walks out of the house without apologizing

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Apr 26, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

We know that most people think that cats are really low maintenance pets and that you don't need to do or know all that much to take care of them, but we, as actual cat owners, know better than that. There is so much that you have to be aware of. You need to know how to get your cats to drink more water, because some of them just hate it for some reason. You need to know practical ways to enrich our cats' environments, because no, it's not enough to just toss a toy at them every once in a while. Once your cat gets older, there are many things you need to know about taking care of senior cats.

But some things are common sense. Really, some things are not that complicated. And we would think that not scooping your cat's litter with utensils that you use for food would be one of those things. But apparently, it's not obvious to everyone, and that could lead to some… uncomfortable situations. 

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  • 01

    "Found out my boyfriend has been using my spoon holder as a cat litter scooper"

    Cheezburger Image 10497382912
    via Canva / Mila Naumova

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    I Just walked in on my boyfriend, cleaning the cat litter when I noticed that he was scooping the litter with my spoon holder that I use for cooking.
    via UnderstandingFun3379
  • 03
    I was in shock and instantly freaked out telling him to stop and that I use that to cook and that it was disgusting that he was using that also for the litter.
    via UnderstandingFun3379
  • 04
    He told me he has been using it for months now And cleans it when he's done using it. I got mad and told him that he should have told me or at least asked to use it before just assuming I would be OK with that.
    via UnderstandingFun3379
  • 05
    Instead of apologizing, he just gets upset and leaves the house with my dog probably to go cool down. I texted him letting him know that I'm not done with this discussion as I'm very upset and very grossed out with the situation and think that we need to talk more about it.
    via UnderstandingFun3379
  • 06
    If I knew he was using it for that I wouldn't even consider using it to cook unless it was extremely sanitized afterwards. Am I in the wrong for freaking out as much as I did over this? What should I say when I talk to him about this without freaking out again?
    via UnderstandingFun3379
  • 07
    Particular-Try5584 Yeah.... He knew what he was doing was wrong. Why would he hide it if it wasn't? And he's now left to buy himself some time to come up with an excuse or cover story. But in reality my guess is he was secretly amused that you had no idea you were using a kitty litter spoon to cook with.
    via Particular-Try5584
  • 08
    Does he have other passive aggressive or petty games he plays? He sounds like someone I wouldn't hook my wagon to. The alternative to this idea is he is really really gross or stupid and irrationally so. I still wouldn't hook my wagon to someone this gross or stupid as an adult.
    via Particular-Try5584
  • 09
    UnderstandingFun3379 OP He's not one to be secretly amused by these things I don't think. I just think he tends to do things like this without thinking, but that doesn't excuse his poor lapse in judgment. When he comes back home, I want to tell him how grossed out and upset I am with him and how I feel like he's crossed a boundary with me by doing something like that
    via UnderstandingFun3379

  • This could happen for one of a few reasons. Either he is well-meaning but dumb, which can happen. He was cleaning the litterbox, that's more than some people do. Or he's uncaring - about the health of both of you guys. Or he was doing it maliciously - to hurt you. All options are bad ones. 

  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10497382400
    via Canva / Africa images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • 11
    Professional Owl999 Toxoplasmosis. Absolutely vile. and please, be fake.
    via ProfessionalOwl999
  • 12
    UnderstandingFun3379 OP I truly wish this was fake. I didn't see this coming hence why I freaked out so much. I think for a split second I was in shock
    via UnderstandingFun3379
  • 13
    borderlinegrrl First thought I had was that it was nice he cleaned the box. Your spoon holder has holes?
    via borderlinegrrl
  • 14
    Understanding Fun3379 OP The cats tend to kick the litter out of the box, so he was using my spoon holder to scoop the litter back into the box
    via UnderstandingFun3379
  • 15
    Cheezburger Image 10497382656
    via Canva / Africa images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • We'd like an update, please. We need to know the reaction that he had after this conversation continued. Thankfully, it seems that both of you are healthy and unaffected by this. We don't want to hate on a man that simply made a dumb mistake. 

  • 16
    peakpenguins Am I in the wrong for freaking out as much as I did over this? No, NTA. Your boyfriend is gross. Do you guys not have a designated litter scoop..? Highly recommend the metal ones by the way.
    via peakpenguins
  • 17
    Going NutCracken NTA and he sure was not cleaning it after he scooped the cat's sh.
    via GoingNutCracken
  • 18
    TooQueerForThis that's... That's how you get a parasite infection
    via TooQueerForThis
  • 19
    Short-Classroom2559 Throw this one back into the dating pool. He's not a good catch
    via Short-Classroom2559
  • 20
    chubeebear NTA. Does he not know they make scoops just for this purpose? Are you still considering children with this genius?
    via chubeebear

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